Muses.

So today I finished my story for my creative writing class... Have had writers block all week, but it was due at midnight so I finally got down and wrote my heart out. (finished at 11:46) but it is amazing. Now we shall see what my class thinks.

A special shout out today to my muse... With out you "unexpected" wouldn't have been possible.

On the muse note...
I have been dubbed a muse. Which got me to thinking about how I impact the world. I started thinking that perhaps someday my artist will be famous. And the images that I have inspired will hang in the finest museums and people will ponder them and I will be like the Mona Lisa.

and then I realized that I make a huge difference in the world.

I bring a kid smiles everyday
I take care of so many people emotionally
I smile at random people
I live as a good person

Yet so often I feel so invisible. I recently had a talk with a friend, about how I felt like I was so alone regardless of being surrounded by people... Cause the ones that I support are blind to my needs and I just struggle through on my own. And this friend... Listened... Then 20 minutes later I was listening to her tell me all about why she wants to kill herself (and they weren't good reasons).... And poof suddenly it was back to the old patterns... Poor you... Please let me make it all better.

I understand that I am a remarkable person. And Strong beyond belief. I just wished that certain people would understand that I am not always strong. I spoke with PunkAss today. And she asked why I will always love her. And its really quite simple. She has seen me at my best. And my worst. Yet regardless she loves me wholly and unconditionally and expects me only to be me. And this is such a relief. Cause I know that strong or weak. Someone will always be there.

143 PunkAss.

so thinking today. About all the good I bring. Has made me feel a little more valuable in this big scarey world we live in.

May all of you out there find your value in those hidden places... And remember life isn't always totally daunting.