This post was inevitable.

Women are NUTS. I used to believe that I was a hopeless romantic. Now I'm just hopeless. I believed that someday my "Romeo" was gonna ride up and take me away where we would live happily ever after, drinking beer, raising babies and waving our pride flag.

She would always be butch and handsome and I would always wear a ton of eye liner and flip flops. There would always be nights at the bar and we would find ourselves at home in the community...

Well... You know what. **** that. I want stability. I want a degree. I want love and passion yes... But I would gladly trade all the beautiful love poems in the world if I could find a girl not on mood stabilizers.

I mean really... Is it the lesbian community or is it just my generation? My age? Society? Could someone please tell me what's wrong with women? And by women I mean the cute butchy lesbians... You know the one you always mistake for a 15 year old boy. The tattooed, beer drinking, Levi wearing, spikey haired DYKES.

Recently I was completely disrespected by a butch lesbian that was pursuing my affections. This discomforted me more than the lewd comments and stares I receive from men everyday. Cause she is a woman (albeit a very masculine woman but none the less). She has ovaries, and a uterus, she knows what cramps are and the horrors of tampons. And yet she still chose to disrespect me based on my feminine identification. I felt VIOLATED.

It is a sad day when a woman can not be safe and respected even amongst other women. And I know it has always been sad like that. But I was naive. I thought perhaps we were better than that.

THANKS!!!!!!!

Hey everyone! Just a short little post before I head off to class! (yes that means some sociological rambling later) But for now I just wanted to thank everyone! LESS THAN 20 HITS AWAY FROM 1000 VIEWS! SCORE! My friends laugh at me cause I am so loyal to my blog. Cause I see everything in life as "blog fodder". But I am glad that you all keep coming back and thanks so much for the comments and supports...

But now I need to go find a sock to match the one on my foot already. (ok truthfully.... I don't care if it matches as long as it is close, meaning same color, roughly same style. Does that make me weird?????)

OH! and a Special thanks to both BLOG MAD and Blog Explosion and of course THE THINKER and P for their help and guidance....

Damn you woulda think i just won an oscar or something... I wonder if they are chocolate filled?

Chicago is Going Green...

And its not for Earth Day. St. Patrick's Day is right around the corner and this will be the first since I turned 21 two years ago that I can celebrate in true Irish style. And what better place to do so than in Chicago???? A city notorious for over doing everything. As always the festivities include dyeing the river green, the parade and lots and lots of beer... And I for one plan to be at the parade drinking beer like every other individual with even a smattering of Irish Heritage.

Now see I'm super excited for this year cause last year was a flop! It was my first St.Pattys day in Chicago and I was dating someone who was more Irish than me. So we went off to the parade... WITH HER MOM... AND NO BEER. And lawn chairs. And blankets. And NO BEER. And she fell asleep in the middle of the parade... And it sucked...

This year shalll be done right.
So on another note... My mouth is killing me. My wisdom tooth is a stubborn little bastard... And wants to come in yet again. It does not understand that there is NO room for it and it also doesn't understand that I don't have dental insurance...

This does worry me some, cause well this tooth does this all the time. However what if this is the time that it doesn't stop TRYING to come in (like its brother on the left side of my mouth did one thanksgiving) and I end up having to get it removed? How is that gonna go over? How am I gonna be able to afford that? Not to mention the hellish recovery I went through last time.

So since starting this blog I have not been nearly the shopping fanatic that I am usually. But a super bargain the other day does bear mentioning here. I found this spring/summer dress in a pretty black and green print, its a Nine West design. Original price tag: $129.00, Marked to original clearance: $83, The Rack's Price: $63, Clearance sticker: 75% off.... My price $17.41.... I am such a rock star.

YOU GET NOTHING!

So I went to write a blog about the coming festivities here in Chicago... Even found pictures... But Blogger wont let me upload them.... So you get nothing. On a new page... I am supposed to be writing a story for my creative writing class...

So far... Its like a paragraph. Though I do have a great concept... Characters Claire and Goldy. A little west side story plot idea... But in all honesty perhaps I will just follow them around and see where they take me...

So now I sit here in the dark... Waiting to get in the zone... Moody music on my I pod and a pensive look on my face... Is this enough to create something remarkable???

CONFESSION

I AM A GEEK

So yesterday was an interesting day. And it all leads back to me being a geek. Start the morning out with a fun trip to Bitty Basketball to watch Stinky become the next Lebron James (shout out to Today In Sports), well... Athletic time with a group of 4-6 year olds is ALWAYS a crack up. ALWAYS. This week was time to hand out birthday party invitations cause Stinky's party is coming up... And subsequently this involves small talk with parents. So me and P are sitting there chatting with one mom... She seems a little alarmed by our reading selections... P=serial killers. ME= Smashed (a memoir of drunken girlhood) Then randomly out of NOWHERE she turns to me and says... The coach is CUTE, maybe you should date him, i hear he's single. WTF! Scroll up and you will be reminded about the problem with this... I AM THE LESBIAN NANNY!

Hour later... Sitting in the kids hair salon.... Watching this woman with a one year old girl (super cute) swoon over her daughters first hair cut, she was like 6 months pregnant... And barbie... The woman and child had matching UGG boots and cracked me the hell up... I looked at this high maintenance woman and wondered if perhaps this is what is wrong with the world today or maybe there is just something wrong with me???

Hour later... Driving in shitty traffic the following conversation is heard when P brakes to avoid hitting the moron that swerved infront of us.

P: FUCKING IDIOT
ME: whoa... Language.
Stinky: You said Idiot Mommy.

WHAT THE HELL!

Enter Joann Fabrics: and my brilliant plan to learn to Crotchet... LOL.... This is not going so well... But I will update you as it develops for flops... Whichever....

Well Stinky wants to play on the computer. And I want a nap. So till later.

Word up dawg....

So today I was headed off to work at the call center... I was standing at the bus stop in the heart of downtown and there was this group of boys between 12 and 14, all Latino... They were sitting there showing each other how to form the hand signal for a common gang. This cracked me up....

I know WHY!?!?!?!

a- cause they looked like an Eddie Bauer ad! All proper. Not your street "thugs".
b- cause they thought they were so cool cause they knew how to "throw" this gang sign... I learned how to "throw" the same sign when I was about there age... 10 years ago.... In the suburbia of Minnesota

So. Next thought.

Attraction-

There are people in this world I'm not supposed to be attracted to. Simply cause our worlds clash. Because people will judge me based on my association with them. Maybe I am young and naive... But I think that's bullshit. So what if someone is punk, or thug, or prep, or jock. The fact remains that they are human. And further that people aren't jars... So why label them. I understand these labels tend to match their outward form of expression, but is it so foreign to understand that there is more to a person that that???

Maybe she's a thug.
Maybe he's a punk.
and maybe there are just as tired of being seen that way as I am of being seen as a smart white girl.

Feverish

So... Its been a few days since I updated. Monday was a little "busy" and then Tuesday I came down with the flu... Still have the flu... I've been thinking a lot about what to blog about... Even got a request for "the dirt" on the club. But no... I won't be releasing the dirt. SO then I thought about bloggin about what's on my mind... But no. I cant do that. I'm practicing discretion. So. What do I write about? I thought a list would be nice...

THINGS I LIKE WHEN I AM SICK

*someone stroking my hair

*aspercreme

*popsicles

*7up

*Being read kids books

*my favorite blankey

*my stuffed stitch

Well... That was pointless and rather dumb... I blame the fever...

So I like someone... And I know I shouldn't like her. And I know it wont go anywhere. But I do. I look at her sometimes and I wonder how I can possibly have thought my own life a struggle. I feel priveledged and sheltered, even though I have had a tough life. And subsequently... I want to hold her and kiss her and bring her soup when she's sick... But I wont... It will be just what it is... And that's ok...