Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Wonderment.

First a special shout out to Tina... Yes you have commented here before and as always its greatly appriciated... in response to your question lets just say... they were trying to vote me out of office, not to mention some very blatant sexual innuendoes at my girlfriend. its all over myspace if you find me (click on bio)... Quite disturbing. (and I greatly enjoy reading your blog as well)

Lately i have been looking at the world and seeing so much bad ...Poeple that can look over a childs head on a crowded bus and snag the last seat leaving this small child standing, or walk past a hungry homeless person and then proceed to throw over half of a sandwhich into a puddle less than ten feet away. Mothers that ignore their children, perhaps for a man, or a woman or drugs or the internet. And people simply drenched in immaturity and spite. I am amazed that the world still turns with so much drowning out the good. I worte a poem last night.. Its about all i have to say today... enjoy

Man Child.

The shadows are long
Down foot from the past
The place of intersections
Where the choices
Form our hearts
Our life
Your life
But mostly
A future

A place of innocence
Where mistakes are as cheap
As the rewards.
You my sweet man child.
When will the plastic soldiers
Give way to understanding this war.

Rebellion bittersweet
When washed away
With your lovers tears.
Tears that burn like liquor,
And yet still underage.
A privilege meant for
Maturity.
For a man.
Yet stolen in a game of dress up.

So much already a man.
Yet still a tender girl
Tears in the stolen night
And big talk in the sun
How do I show you
An unavoidable path.
A place with sense
Where you can grow
Into you
Into him
Or hym
Or her
Whoever you dream to be.

Child like security
Child like insecurity
You my sweet man child.
Dreaming.
Of the second star to the right.
Yet cursed to the passage of time.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Nanny,
You sound depressed...I am sorry. It sounds like you needs some attention and I am sure that their are many Dr.'s that would like to give that to you. I have read your web links and all the stuff that you are involved with in your life and you spinning into a funnel of fury. How do you know that you are in love? Please tell...I am very curious. Can you love someone when you never see them as a blind man would do to a new wife? Please tell.

Also, I am curious why it sounds like you would call out people around you. When I read your poem, I wept. You have a lot of vigor, anger, and pent up frustration. What is the relationship with your boss? How is the child you nanny full time? Is that the child that you seem to think is being ignored? Have you ever ignored anyone and seen the aftermath when you don't give 110% attention? Were you the child that always needed attention? Who has spite? You?

Please answer and define your life and relationship for all of us that read you because you are headed down a path that has more than a fork in the road...
JAMTKA

XO-JK said...

Jamtka-
The poem is for my girlfriend... The child that i feel is being ignored is not the one i care for... But rather a little girl that i am sure is quite precious... I am not so much depressed any more as i am pensive... i am thinking more and more big thoughts everyday... I love my girlfriend with out ever seeing her face to face cause my heart knows her more clearly than i can explain. Hoever how do you ever know if you are truly in love? it is a subjective decision. The relationship with my boss is what it is... somedays we are like mother/daughter, others sisters and still others friends. I dont much write about Stinky anymore just cause. you are correct that this path has more than a fork in it... I think there is an entire dinner party in my path and i need to figure out how to define my life and relationships... The poem that made you cry... Its about my girlfriends inability to grow up and her choice to surround herself with childish people... Its about the contrast between adulthood and pretending... Thank you for your readership... and i will consider your tears at my writing a good sign.