An odd goodbye...

So the day before Valentines day my neighbors trailer caught on fire making it inhabitable... It was a scary night cause in a trailer park fire spreads like Herpes in a highschool. Well anyhow today was the day they had to tear down the trailer. It was really sad for me to watch the walls come down and see it gutted.

Partly cause i feel for what my neighbor lost. but also because i spent a large part of my youth there. I drank with the original neighbors when i was 18 and they were my age, Their girlfriends used to give me dating advice and do my hair. I had my last guy crush in those walls. I remember watching the neighbors and thinking they were so grown up and wanting to be like them. and now i'm their age. and the trailer is coming down.

Friends started families there, nights of laughter took place, many tears were shed. And now it is a skeleton of what once was. I know that the real value is in the moments and memories and not the actual structure, but it will be weird to look out the window and not see the deck i sat on and cried when my first serious girlfriend broke my heart, when another trailer goes up it will be odd knowing that Mike, Holly, John, Dean or Keitha never lived there...

mostly its unsettling to realize how fleeting everything is... How precious the moment really is.

Lord help Charter communications

So we got the internet and cable... Its been a long 3days but i think everything is where it should be... 5 technicians (well 4 but 2 visits from one) and a free month later...

We had nothing but problems getting to this point...

heres the break down...

Day 1
* the modem was installed in the wrong room
* the cable in the bedroom wasnt split to accomodate net access
* they didnt leave a remote for the second cable box (WHAT THE HELL WHO DOES THAT!)
* my LAPTOP was left on the floor by the technicians
* the whole damn thing took 5 and a half freaking hours!
* Showtime on demand refused to work (read: NO SHANE!)

Day 2
* they send another technician out TO FIX OUR INTERNET that wasnt broken
* Still didnt get a remote
* Showtime on demand STILL doesnt work
* spent 2 hours on the phone after the internet crashed and i couldnt watch the L word. I was transferred 11teen times including the the disconnect dept.... I was like DONT TEMPT me Bitch

Day 3
*one more technician...
* an ANGRY call to corporate...
* FINALLY got a remote and a month free...

I dont understand how hard this was gonna be I mean really... a trained monkey could do this... but apparently not a trained contractor... anyhow... On that note I'm gonna go watch the L word on demand... *crosses fingers* PRAY FOR ME

Back on the horse

where to begin. I finally got the internet at home so perhaps i can now begin to blog about the most mundane crap again.

It was a long day at work today puncuated by crazyness. A family came into the studio today with the sweetest 9 month old baby. he was the size of an 18 month old. and laughed and giggled at everyone.

I'm fueding with the bank yet again. I'm so devastated. It felt like we were finally getting ahead and then boom a pile of overdrafts that i swear up and down shouldnt be here. and of course K cant find he reciept to prove that the money should be there. I dont know what to do.

I cant believe that me and k have been together for 11 months. its been a rollercoaster ride. but wow we really have made it. I remember the last time i was in this place, with Chris like 2 years ago. so much has changed and i think about the places i have been and he experiences i have had. It seems so unreal. I dont even know where i would begin to tell the story.

but thats all for now... more to follow...

Watching Angels.

So this last week we headed back to Iowa to see K's family. WOW! thats a hell of a lot of people and a hell of a lot of kids. but what a blessing. While we were there K's sister went into labor and we got to be a part of the birth... what a miracle watching this tiny precious baby turn from tummy into a beautiful angel.

on that note... things are going great for me and K. we have been talking a lot more about the future and what we can do to make sure we have the strongest foundation possible. the trip was really good at bringing us closer together.

Mostly though its been a lot of the same old stuff... work and school....

The Chart...

So the L word creators are introducing a new online facet... "the chart" coming soon to www.ourchart.com. The question is, how much of this will end up spurning more lesbian drama... and how many bar fights will break out due to one little website... Hmmmmm.... we shall see...

Don't forget to add yourself... Hell this might be the best way to hook up with that one night stand that was as good in bed as "Papi"....

NEW SEASON!!!!

So tonight was the premeire of the fourth season of the L word... What the fuck.... The whole show was essentially Shane (super fucking hottness) walking around drunk and strung out on coke...

Why the hell do lesbians have to be so fucked up... In reality thats not how we actually all are... Well yes the chart applies applicably across the board and every community has at their Shanes & Papi's, we also have our extras that never make the major waves...

My life would never merit a script anywhere near comparable to the L word... Hell me and my friends spent the night at home counting down to this premiere making dinner and cuddling kitty cats... Searching craigslist for new apartments (found a great lead with only one catch... no cooking meat at the house).

At one point I believed that my life needed to be of showtime quality to validate my lesbianness but now i realize otherwise and i am ecstatic...

On other fronts things are getting complicated at work... I had a sitting today that is pretty much the 2007 version of the brady bunch crossed with the osbournes... it gave birth to photographic genius... However theres tension abound at work with conflicts regarding hours and whether or not expectations of sales averages are realistic. Theres a higher up position in my studio that might be about to open up and i'm thinking that perhaps i should go after it... While it will be a lot more time and require me to cut back school to part time. It might be an amazing oppourtunity, hell i would make more a year than my formal employer with out a college degree. I have the experience and i have the vision of what the studio could be under the right guidance and operation...

On that note i'll be off to dress my favorite fat cat in a pink polo shirt... oddly enough i am amused and satisfied that this is NOW my life...

It's been awhile...

Wow its been awhile since I've actually blogged... Its been crazzy busy with christmas rush at work and finals at school... But the good news is that I aced my classes and i'm officially core staff at work... and I've been dubbed the official rockstar of the studio with my kickass sales average and stellar photography... (a girl can't always be modest can she?)...

So Christmas has come and gone and it amazes me how much everything has changed. I'm so far away from where i was a year ago and i dont just mean miles. Coming home is one of the greatest things I have done. I've become super close with my sister, found one of the best friends i could ever have, started my life with K.... and finally become the person i gave lipservice to all these years.

But I still miss Chicago... I was in hallmark the other day and saw the card i gave stinky last year for valentines day... I miss the hell out of stinky and feel like i lost one of the best parts of my life... But i also know that i couldn't keep living my life for someone elses child.

I also miss Slinkster... And the crazzzzzzzzzzzzy nights out on the town... the gay boys and blue liquor... but at the same time theres something to be said for my quiet calm life... I like renting movies and spending quiet nights at home... playing board games with friends and drinking diet coke at perkins.

It proves that different isn't always better... sometimes its just different... And i can't say i'm always happy, but i am content and on the right path for happy ever after. And living with bipolar that is just gonna have to be good enough...

Its crazy cause this blog was started with the idea of documenting all the crazy events i found myself in day to day... but now lifes not so crazzy... believe me there are still moments that i think to myself "what the fuck" but its not as insane as it used to be and i'm ok with that...