Monday, April 07, 2008

I Am Autism

"Hello. Allow me to introduce myself to you. My name is Autism. Perhaps you know me or know of me. I am a condition, a "disorder" that affects many people. I strike at will, when and where I want. Unlike Downs Syndrome or other birth "defects," I leave no marks on those I strike. In fact, I pride myself on the ability to infiltrate a childs life, while leaving him or her strikingly handsome. Many people may not even know that I am there. They blame the child for what I cause him or her to do. I am Autism and I do as I please.



I am Autism. I strike boys and girls, infants and toddlers. I find my best victims to be boys around the age of 2, but any child will do. I like children and they are always the true victims, though I take hostage the others in the child's family as well. It is a bit like getting two for the price of one. I affect one child and infect the entire family.



I am Autism. I strike rich and poor alike. The rich combat me with education and therapy. The poor shut their children away and cannot afford to fight me. I am able to win in the lives of poor children more than I am of the wealthy, but I will try to take root anywhere.



I am Autism. I am an equal oppportunity disorder. I like whites, blacks, Mexicans, Ukrainians, Russians, Poles, Slavs, Jappanese, Koreans and Fins. In fact, I strike everywhere on earth. I know no goegraphical bounds.



I am Autism. I do not discriminate based upon religon either. I strike Jews and Christians, Muslims and Buddhists, Atheists and Agnostics, Hindus and Rastafarians. I do not care what religon a person is or what beliefs he may hold. When I strike, there will be little time for any of that anyway. When they find me, they will question everything the believe in, so why would I strike any one group? I have affected followers of every religion on the planet.



I am Autism and I am strong and getting stronger every year, every month, every day, every minute, and every second. I am concerned that money might be alloted to combat me and my takover of children, but so far I have little to fear. Some countries, like Kuwait, are spending quite a bit of money to assist those who I have targeted and some, like the United States, would rather spend money on such ludicrous things as discovering the number of American Indians who practice voodoo, as opposed to combating me. In an atmosphere as that, I can flourish and wreck havoc at will. In places such as that, I rub my hands with glee at the problem I can cause to children, families and to the society at large.



I am Autism. When I come, I come to stay. I take the dreams and hopes of every parent and trample them with glee. I see the fear and confusion in the eyes of my victims and I see the formation of wrinkles, worries and ulcers and the pain on the face of their parents. I see the embarrassment their child causes because of me and the parents unsuccessfull attempt to hide their child and, me. I see tears and the parents cry and feel the tears of their child.



I am Autism. I leave sorrow in my wake. I am Autism. I taketh and give nothing but bewilderment and loathing in return. I take speech and learning, I take socialization and understanding. I take away "common sense" and if I am allowed to flourish, I take away all but their physical life. What I leave behind, is almost worse than death.



I am Autism. I fear nothing except courage, which I thankfully see little of. I fear those who take a stand against me and attempt to fight me and bring others into the fight as well. I fear those who try to make it safe and easier for my victims in the community, and their families. I fear those who push ahead, despite the fact that I am in tow. I fear the day that I will be eradicated from the planet. Yet, I do not fear too much right now. There is no need.



I am Autism and I bet you know me or know of me. If you don't, you probably will soon. I am marching forward faster than I ever have before. I am looking for new children all the time. I dread the day I will be looked on with pity, or worse yet, understanding, for that day, is the day I will begin to die. But, I don't think that will happen for a long long time though, do you? In the meantime, I prowl onward, looking to cause pain and suffering wherever I go. I have so much work to do and thankfully, no one is stopping me.



Hello my name is Austim. Perhaps you know me or know of me.................................

written by: Marty Murphy

Marty Murphy is an adult with Autism Spectrum Disorder who was born and raised in central Illinois.

With her personal insite and presentations on autism across Illinois, Marty has made a tremendous impact on how parent, teachers and administrators look at our children's

Friday, April 04, 2008

Human Torture On Youtube

This might be the MOST annoying thing I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!! I would rather be locked in a closet for three weeks with "tyrone" and a bag of pixie stix than EVER have a 3 minute conversation with this person....
I found her when I was looking for clips on the pregnant man... and then I couldn't stop watching... its like poking a bruise... You have to keep doing it to see if it will be as bad as the last time.... WOW...



PS for someone that doesn't watch the L word... she knows an awful lot...

Wednesday, April 02, 2008


This month is autism awareness month... I'm oddly excited. Or perhaps not so oddly as this is what is closest to my heart.

There are so many awesome things going on.
Heres a couple of my favs

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The Femmes prevail in the end...

tonight I can't sleep. My tonsils are swollen and even the vicodin isn't knocking me out. So i've been up thinking... And browsing through friends myspace pages.

It amazes me... Looking back on all my butch friends... they were all hard core boi lovers, much like myself when we were younger and now they are all happier than ever... with femmes...

even my darling K... used to be a bois boi... but now all mine.

K posted a blog yesterday coming out at trans... I knew this was coming for a long time. yet I still have fears as to what will happen... Its where everything went so horribly wrong with me and asshole. I know that K is far from the man asshole was attempting to be... But I also know how T can wreak havok on the moods....

Tonight has just been one of those nights where so much runs through my head. Thinking about where i was 2 years ago.... 4 years ago.... 5 years ago... Never would I have thought I would be here now... I watched K sleep tonight and I was so shamelessly in love. and to think that 2 years ago someone accused me of running away to play house with K and predicted it would last a month... Yet instead we built a life together. We've made it through the good and the bad.

I've built a career. I've gotten my degree. I've come so far...

shit... I own practical proffessional shoes and have an entire office wardrobe... there are moments in all this that i barely recognize the person I become. and then sadly in the same moment I don't think that is such a bad thing. I realize how lost and lonely I was.

Funny how the dark of night can bring this all out...

Monday, March 31, 2008

Please Be Patient.

So its been a long time since I wrote here on a regular basis. And while my life has changed, (almost totally for the better) I believe I still have a story to tell...

So be patient as I start giving this space a new look and getting back into the habit of writing.

Perhaps tommorrow I'll reintroduce myself.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Coming to a Club near you!

SO its begun. We are gonna be performing regularly starting on the 9th in brainerd MN for diversity night at inferno. I'm super excited its nice to put aside the serious side and have some fun once inawhile.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Center stage....

well i guess the party girl didn't die totally...

or at least the drama queen is alive and well... I will be performing at Minneapolis Pride as a go-go girl....

I'm scared as hell its been 4+ years since I've done this and never solo... always with someone else... But here it goes...

I got two spots... so i need two songs... so far i got Avril Lavigne's girlfriend... anyone else got any idea's?????